Death With Dignity - Sufjan Stevens

The song Death With Dignity by Sufjan Stevens included in the album Carrie and Lowell, was written in memory of his mother. The album cover and name can be assumed to be about his mom and dad. Looking further into the meaning of Death With Dignity, I found that the song title shared the name with the Death With Dignity Act of 1994. The act legally allowed terminally ill patients to receive physician aided death.

Knowing that his album was dedicated to his mother and that Death With Dignity was the first track on his album, it can be assumed that his mother died of a terminal illness ultimately leading to her death with the help of a physician.

The song starts with a happy strumming, maybe indicating new beginnings. Initially, I wasn't pulled to the song because of the lyrics, I liked it for its mellow, calming tone. It made me think that Sufjan was writing about himself or someone lifting a weight off their shoulders. But then listening closely, I realized that this song was about Safjun trying to figure out how he felt about his mothers passing, unsure of where to turn to next. The song through imagery, repetition, and diction emphasizes the process of losing someone you love and the grief one might experience. Right at the start, the first stanza illustrates this overwhelming process.

     Spirit of my silence I can hear you

     But I'm afraid to be near you

     And I don't know where to begin

     And I don't know where to begin

He uses diction when saying "Spirit of my silence" which refers to his conscious. "I can hear you but I'm afraid to be near you," calls him out for not listening to his conscious in fear of overwhelming guilt and sadness. "And I don't know where to begin," reveals his jumbled mind. The repetition of "I don't know where to begin," is seen again in the second stanza of the song. In those lines he's revealing his true vulnerability and honestly. The song being so personal to him made me believe he's lost, confused, and unsure how he feels about death like many others who experience grief. 

The use of repetition is seen again throughout the song. The next repeated verses show this same emphasis of confusion.

The next repeated verses:

     What is that song you sing for the dead?

     What is that song you sing for the dead?

     Well I got nothing to prove
     Well I got nothing to prove

     But every road leads to an end
     Yes every road leads to an end

     You'll never see us again
     You'll never see us again

The literary device is used as a way to development growth and eventual acceptance. He displays the stages of grief through his lyrics. Anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are seen in the song. First, he questions why his mother decided to do what she did, then moves to knowing he can't do anything about it, finally accepting that he'll never see her again. 

Continually, Safjan's use of imagery in the song demonstrates his attempt for emotional renewal and gives cues of what he desires. 

      Somewhere in the desert there's a forest 

      And acre before us

      But I don't know where to begin

      But I don't know where to begin
      Again I've lost my strength completely, oh be near me

      Tired old mare with the wind in your hair

Here he is referring to himself. He is trying to find the sacred forest in the middle of a dessert where he currently is. He wants his mom, the tired old mare, to help guide him, but he knows she's gone. Safjan is stranded in his own mental desert with no clue where to begin and through the song we see his journey to self peace, to his own oasis. 

Safjun's song represents him trudging through his own desert in hope to finally come to the acred forest of peace and renewal. Through the lyrics it seems he ultimately found it at the end.