Mutual Recognition: Can relationships truly be equal?

Jessica Benjamin, an American psychoanalyst and feminist commentator, analyzes the idea of mutual recognition within a myriad of social contexts in her book, The Bonds of Love. Benjamin questions the structure of binaries that exist today, including the father-son relationship and the male-female relationship, as a means of interpreting more encompassing relationships in the world, such as country-country relationships.


Benjamin first recognizes the power disparity that is evident between a child and his/her parent. She uses the word, "domination", to express her understanding of how the two interact on a daily basis. As a feminist commentator, she relates this relationship to the male-female dynamic that exists today in which men have traditionally occupied the dominant position. Following Benjamin's recognition of such a situation, she notes the ever-popular suggested solutions from the past in which the power scale that the relationship exists on must shift in favor of the undervalued individual. She explains that a shift like that is not the solution, rather a more toxic option. This is evident in Saunders' Victory Lap when Kyle's rebellion against his parents results in him nearly killing a man.


Instead, Benjamin suggests another alternative: mutual recognition. This concept requires a kind of compassion and understanding on both sides of the relationship, in which both individuals can be viewed as separate entities with their own intentions however they are connected by "bonds of love". Although Benjamin understands this idea to be the best solution, she understands it is not completely realistic and she concludes with questions about how a truly equal relationship functions. Is mutual recognition even possible? And if so, is it worth all the extra effort?