The Ultimate Failure of Existentialism

The theory behind existentialism, like many philosophical theories, determines a way of life. Life for an existentialist involves becoming the most extreme individual possible, with society pushing back in every way. Societal institutions such as law, religion, and education are some of the biggest threats to an existentialist. They force conformity, for example, in many societies children are required to attend school for a certain amount of time. Law is one of the most restrictive aspects of pretty much all societies, the very essence of law is an offense to an existentialist. It seems to me that to live in a "society" or almost any place that has a group of other humans would mean that one cannot truly ever be an existentialist.

Jessica Benjamin's Bonds of Love theory on independence is that in order to truly be independent one must achieve mutual recognition: they must recognize others while simultaneously being recognized themselves. In these terms, one who exists among others can never be independent and an existentialist, and therefore can never be a true existentialist.

Now, say one lived outside of society, alone, forever in isolation, maybe defining oneself completely could be possible. However, this is not even possible to begin with, as an infant/child cannot survive on its own and therefore develops part of its identity based on the people who raise them. As humans, we can never fully develop ourselves independently of everyone else in society. Even if later in life we decide that we want to become an existentialist, someone who is completely independent and self-defined, I do not believe this is possible because of the formative years of our lives where someone has an influence over us, and this influence cannot be ignored.

Additionally, the basis of existentialism is complete definition of the self by the self. However, this is impossible (in theory) if you tell someone what existentialism is because therefore it is not completely self-defined anymore. Based on this, the rest of society should not know what existentialism is, it should not even exist because by creating a theory it is not longer an individual lifestyle.

Therefore I believe that being a true existentialist, by existentialist terms, is impossible.

It Feels Like Someone Died

There seems to be a great deal of confusion in the world today. People everywhere have got it in their heads that there are different 'races of the world' and these ethnic backgrounds provide the bases for clear separation and division. Oh, how naive we are. There is but one race: the Human race.

The classification of people based on the color of their skin was introduced as a way to implement a system of hierarchies within society. It was an easy way to categorize people as the human form takes many shapes across the face of the earth. Over the years, such systems grew incredibly successfully. We see people's complexion before anything else about them. Race has effectively become the dominant color of our lives.

I don't mean to say that I personally naturally 'rise above' and exclude myself from contributing to these systems. I'm not sure anyone can say they truly do not see color. However, we do not have to be true to our humanity by trying to mesh everyone into one type of life or existence. We are called to embrace our own individuality and celebrate those of others'. We are called to bring forth the best in others by living the best lives that we can.

We are a long, long way from the mutual recognition that Jessica Benjamin brilliantly described as the key to true harmonic coexistence. It seems we are even farther than some of us had thought prior to the election of Donald Trump as president. To all black, female, Hispanic, immigrant, Muslim, disabled, poor people across the nation and the world, know that you have an ever-expanding village of support behind you. As citizens of this country I implore you to grow and expand and never give up hope because you are what makes America great again, and again, and again.

Everything will be alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end.

Jeff's Escape From His Past

"I was happy, so happy, because for the first time in years, and forevermore, I had not killed, and never would."

As reading this last sentence of the short story, I felt taken aback by it. As I read it, I read it that Saunders and Jeff saw death as a freeing, new life. I enjoyed reading his thoughts as he was drifting up into the atmosphere. It gave me a different perspective on death and what (if there even is one) the after-life is. Saunders wrote in such a way that death was a new journey and a clean slate to start on. I had never thought of death as something "freeing" or something that could make the dead person happy, but Jeff felt happy because in his "new" life, he had done nothing wrong, and was completely able to start over.

Wounded Rhymes

This week, we were asked to pick a song and defend it as poetry. I chose I Know Places from Lykke Li's Wounded Rhymes album.  When I first heard this song, I felt like it had come at the perfect time. It was a perfect reiteration of how I was feeling, so I couldn't help but interpret it in a way that directly related to what I was going through.
When I first heard it, I thought of a friend of mine. I, for the first time, was experiencing what it was like to be there for someone when they really needed it most.  I soon realized that watching a loved one suffer and feel so alone and helpless was something I couldn't quite put in words, but knew that, although I may not have known at the time how I was going to help him, I knew why I wanted to and why I could. For me, this song represents that feeling, without being too specific, for a variety of relationships.
I think the speaker is speaking directly to a certain individual in their life that feels alone and clearly needs a great deal of comfort. The lines "Where the highs won't bring you down babe/ No, the highs won't hurt you there babe" personifies the highs and speaks to the "you" and reassures them that regardless of what has happened, the "high" that can be achieved alone in that place with the speaker is something that can not fail "you". This "high" she continues to refer to, in my opinion, is the power of love and understanding that is far more powerful and infallible than any drug. The speaker goes on to say "Don't ask me when, but ask me why/ Don't ask me how, but ask me where/ There is a road, There is a way/ There is a place, There is a place". This symbolizes the speaker's commitment to finding a way to help heal the subject of the song, even though it may be unclear at that moment exactly how they are going to do it and how long it will take. Rather, she emphasizes the fact that there is a why and a where: Why- Because she can love them Where- Alone, where the speaker can protect the subject from further harm and show them the love they need. The "places" the speaker knows of is representative of the speaker's idea of a safe haven where he or she plans to save the person from their pain. The speaker goes on to connect this "place" to home, which is arguably one of the most comforting places an individual can go in a time of healing. The home aspect makes it appear welcoming and safe, even though the "I know places" line hints that this place of healing is not home, but is away.
In the final stanzas, the speaker reassures the subject that they can look to him or her for dependability, support and understanding. The speaker says, "Now won't you lay and wait/ Wait on me," which contributes to the purpose of the song: that in difficult times, the speaker will find a way to help the subject heal. 

What We've Learned About Fractions In Math Is Wrong.

In math class you are taught that a/b = b/a. Jessica Benjamin has taught us that that is actually false. Benjamin's math is more like a/b could never equal b/a, because switching the two would change life as we know it. Benjamin writes about how binaries dominate our society (BINARIES/society). So if we were to take a binary and flip it then life as we know it would be drastically different.

Faulkner has taken binaries to another level. Whether it is MASTER/slave, WHITE/black, PARENT/child, they are everywhere throughout Light in August. One binary I thought was pretty cool was MALE/female. I thought that it was cool because Faulkner flips this very important binary.
It is evident that most of the relationships in the novel adhere to the MALE/female binary (such as McEathern and his wife). Faulkner decides that it is not very interesting to conform to social constructions so he takes Joe Christmas, and Mrs. Burden's relationship and flips the binary.

When Joe describes his relationship with Mrs. Burden he explicitly states that he feels as if Mrs. Burden has more control or dominance then he does. Joe's lack of power in a typically male dominated binary may contribute to the his killing of Mrs. Burden. If it does play a major role then we see first hand how flipping a binary drastically changes the reality of the situation.

Faulkner's Light in August is truly layered and confusing work, but it is a work of art and must be interpreted as such. His discreet and not so discreet violations of social code at the time are magnificent. I think Jessica Benjamin and William Faulkner would have gotten along well.

I Cannot Heave My Heart Into My Mouth

After analyzing the first act of King Lear in class, one section really stood out to me:

Unhappy that I am, I cannot heave
My heart into my mouth. I love your majesty
According to my bond; no more nor less.

Cordelia said this when her father, King Lear, demanded that all of his daughters tell him how much they love him while he was deciding how he wanted to divide up his inheritance. While Goneril and Regan showered their father with meaningless compliments, Cordelia actually spoke her mind. Cordelia said that she loves her father "according to my bond".

I admire Cordelia's ability to speak her mind even when it is best for her to just lie to get what she wants. Her honesty shows that she respects herself and her father. She refuses to "heave her heart into her mouth" because that is simply dishonest. Her integrity prevents her from making false statements. Cordelia is incredibly empowering through how she handles this situation, but Lear's response shows the downsides that can come from speaking your mind.

Lear takes Cordelia's unwillingness to explicitly proclaim her love as an insult even though it is exactly the opposite. This error of judgement appears to be detrimental for Cordelia even though her actions had the best intentions.

I think this interaction outlines the struggle that many people face when they decide what to say in difficult situations. Saying something with the sole purpose of pleasing a person is a short term solution for what can be a long term problem.

The Secret Subject

At the end of "The Secret Woman" by Colette, the husband experiences "consternation" when he witnesses his wife's casual promiscuity at the Opera ball. In class, I expressed the view that he's freaked out by the fact that the anonymity of wearing a mask "restored" Irene to her natural state and that the reserved, well-mannered woman he is accustomed to is merely a facade. While the husband feels betrayed and confused by his wife's behavior, he approaches Jessica Benjamin's concept of mutual recognition by viewing Irene as a subject at the end of the story.

When her husband follows the disguised Irene into the chaos of the ball, she is initially described as being "seized" by one man and being "imprisoned" by several arms (pg. 330). This diction implies that the husband interprets what he sees to be other guests dominating Irene. Not only is she literally the object of the verbs in these sentences, but she is also the object in the SUBJECT/object binary.

However, as the story progresses, Irene becomes the subject. She grabs one woman, causing her to cry out (pg. 331). Likewise, she "disdainfully" holds and kisses a faint young man who has collapsed on the floor (pg. 331). In both of these scenarios, she clearly dominates the recipient of her actions as both the grammatical and theoretical subject.

This change in verb usage parallels the transformation that the husband's image of Irene undergoes over the course of the story. Although he is shaken and troubled by the mystery of Irene's nature, by accepting that she is voluntarily taking part in the ball's activities, he recognizes her as a subject and sexual being. In doing so, he takes a large step towards Benjamin's idea of mutual recognition.

Mutual Recognition: Can relationships truly be equal?

Jessica Benjamin, an American psychoanalyst and feminist commentator, analyzes the idea of mutual recognition within a myriad of social contexts in her book, The Bonds of Love. Benjamin questions the structure of binaries that exist today, including the father-son relationship and the male-female relationship, as a means of interpreting more encompassing relationships in the world, such as country-country relationships.


Benjamin first recognizes the power disparity that is evident between a child and his/her parent. She uses the word, "domination", to express her understanding of how the two interact on a daily basis. As a feminist commentator, she relates this relationship to the male-female dynamic that exists today in which men have traditionally occupied the dominant position. Following Benjamin's recognition of such a situation, she notes the ever-popular suggested solutions from the past in which the power scale that the relationship exists on must shift in favor of the undervalued individual. She explains that a shift like that is not the solution, rather a more toxic option. This is evident in Saunders' Victory Lap when Kyle's rebellion against his parents results in him nearly killing a man.


Instead, Benjamin suggests another alternative: mutual recognition. This concept requires a kind of compassion and understanding on both sides of the relationship, in which both individuals can be viewed as separate entities with their own intentions however they are connected by "bonds of love". Although Benjamin understands this idea to be the best solution, she understands it is not completely realistic and she concludes with questions about how a truly equal relationship functions. Is mutual recognition even possible? And if so, is it worth all the extra effort?