A Working Definition of Trust

When I look up "trust" on google, I only see financial websites popping up. I thought it might be a good idea to look over some and try to analyze the financial definitions and connect them to the real world (emotionally, not financially like they already are):
Revocable Trusts: A trust that can be changed by a person throughout their life time, whether it be completely altered or revoked entirely.
Real world (emotional) application: Don't our own personal truths change and alter due to our memory and beliefs? Possibly, this financial term could be another way to describe the fact that people consistently change their own beliefs and truths to match their own actions, and possibly that is why the truth is "revocable".
Charitable Trusts: A trust that is attributed to a charity or the public in general.
Real world (emotional) application: Sometimes, we decide to trust people not simply because we know them well, but because we think that they can handle the weight of us depending on them. Charitable trust could be choosing to rely on someone who has let you down before.
Constructive Trusts: A trust that is implied and established by a court.
Real world (emotional) application: An implied trust...could be someone that society has nailed into your brain as someone you should be dependent upon. Like a parent, or a sibling, or a spouse. Isn't that a pretty short list? Isn't that creating an internal struggle for the trustee, if they don't have a trustworthy "constructed" group of people?
Totten Trusts: A trust that is a gift from the trustee to someone else, and can only be received after the trustee's death, or when the person the gift was given to has fulfilled some action that the trustee requested.
Real world (emotional) application: Conditional trust is something we see a lot. Particularly with parents trying to discipline their children. "Do this, and you will receive this from me." Sound familiar? Is this the proper way to go about gaining trust, though? In my experience of being a child trying to receive something, and even today as an 18 year old, no one is intrinsically motivated to gain trust. They may want something else out of the situation or transaction, if you may.

So what are your working definitions of trust?

Trust makes me :( then :) then :(

Maria and Matthew need each other to help one another escape their toxic situation, as it seems we are helpless in regards to self awareness and self care.

Maria's mom wants her to live with her forever and do tenuous chores daily; Not to mention the CONSTANT emotional ABUSE. Maria accepts this fate and continues to endure her awful mom.

Now Matthew is also trapped in an abusive home with a belligerent dad. He is abused physically and emotionally as he meticulously is forced to do pointless domestic chores.

When Maria and Matthew are with one another they see that one another deserves better, a realization that they tragically don't see for themselves. Maria saves Matthew from his degrading life and Matthew encourages her to leave hers.

How come Maria can't see that she deserves better than how her mom treats her and how come Matthew can't see the same? If it weren't for them meeting they would be miserably stuck in their personally tailored hell. So i'm sad because of their lives, happy because they help one another, and sad that it was dependent on one another.

This is compellingly applicable to our reality. We see a struggling friend and fervently try and help them out of a toxic situation whilst we are choking on our own words and actions as we are blind to see that we also need to get out of a similar predicament.

Love to Trust or Trust to Love?

In Hal Hartley's film Trust, Maria Coughlin has just been dumped after telling her high school sweetheart that she is pregnant with his child. The boyfriend revokes all previous statements of love and support he has given to her, and screams at her to get away, as he has to focus on getting a football scholarship for college. Because of his sudden abandonment and empty promises, Maria's quest to find trust and love carries her throughout the rest of the film. A common criticism of young love is how naive and suffocating it can be. Maria exemplifies the typical unsophisticated and malleable young person, who then goes on to think they understand the world simply because of this experience. The issue I take with this movie and primarily this character, is how she uses this past relationship in order to find the exact opposite of it in her next, rather than taking the time to reflect and learn. Her immediate reaction to her break up, is to find what she now thinks is real love, someone to trust. However, in my opinion, trust does not have to be present in order to love someone. Part of what love is, which is a popularized opinion, is that to love another is to risk your own well being to feel validated and supported in return. Maria's naive and protective response to her initial break up pushes her into a relationship with a stranger, who, one could argue, is the first person in her life to worry about her health and happiness. She requires this boyfriend, Mathew, to promise her that love requires trust, admiration, and respect. This forceful and insecure route to feel she is in love pushes her to get into unsafe situations solely on the basis of her wanting to feel what she didn't get out of the first relationship. I believe people can love each other without trusting, especially if we are to differentiate love and being in love. Being in love is a far more selfish and individualistic philosophy on love; which if anything, is where Maria and Mathew are at.

The Development of Maria

In Hal Hartley's 1990 film, Trust the changes of the main characters, specifically Maria, over the course of the movie are drastic and notable. Maria Coughlin and Matthew Slaughter are by far the most important characters of the movie, everyone else simply furthers their development as their lives become intertwined. Both social outcasts and frowned upon by society.

Maria opens the movie putting on purple lipstick while asking her father for five dollars, which he promptly declines and a few minutes later he dies of a heart attack. Maria's mother then kicks her out and her boyfriend breaks up with her. Maria's life looks dismal, she is a pregnant, high school dropout with no future or hopes of ever succeeding. Everything Maria held in her life, her boyfriend, her status, her family were suddenly all gone.

Then in walks Matthew, the quirky electronics genius with an abusive father and a restless spirit and attitude that never allows him to stay in the same job for more than a couple months. Matthew allows Maria to stay with him and his father for a night and her irresponsibility is immediately obvious through the mess she leaves in the kitchen and simply ignores.

The first turning point for Maria is after her clothes, which are neon and skimpy are ruined and she puts on Matthew's mother's old blue simple dress. Without her intensely curled hair, intense makeup, and outrageous clothes, Maria already seems to be a completely different person.

Matthew's room hold a seemingly endless supply of books, many on topics Maria never ever heard about before. She begins to read some and her transformation into a more than just a shell of a person becomes more solidified as she begins to ask questions, about herself and the world.

Maria and Matthew eventually become a couple, and have a connection neither of them had ever felt before. Together they discuss love and what it means to them. To Maria is its respect, admiration and trust, hence the name of the film. Even though Maria and Matthew become engaged they never marry and the life they had planned never pans out the way the thought. Also, Maria has an abortion after seeing Matthew in bed with her sister Peg, though it was a set up by her mother who wanted to get rid of Matthew.

The movie ends with Matthew being driven away in a police car after pulling the pin out of a grenade in the factory where he used to work. Maria finds him and when the grenade does not detonate, Maria takes it and throws the grenade to attempt to set it off. Even though it eventually explodes, no one is hurt and Matthew is arrested. Maria stands in the street watching him being driven off, looking and being nothing like she was at the beginning. Her hair in a ponytail, glasses, a plain blue dress. Her letterman jacket the only remains of her past.

What Is Trust?

"Dad, give me five dollars"

The opening line of the film Trust is delivered in a monotone way by Adrienne Shelly, as she applies her purple lipstick and stares blankly into her compact mirror. This shot establishes all that there is to know about the character, Maria -- a pregnant high school drop out who is a perfect case study for youthful entitlement and vanity.

The film's other main character, Matthew, is a moody electronics repairman who gets tossed around by his abusive father. It's a clear vision from that start that both the characters inhabit a heightened version of the world around us. But as the film goes on, slowly the personas beneath Matthew and Maria are revealed, the feeling of disillusionment they experience seems to come from a place of intense emotional pain. The film's attitude toward marriage and parenting is somewhat of a different take on it than many films. Ultimately the film puts the idea of marriage as something that is artificial and a detrimental institution. From the characters of Peg to Matthew's father, we see that marriage never sticks, it never makes either happy.

As for Maria and Matthew, we see them start on the path to marriage with him proposing to Maria and planning on running away to get married with her unborn child. But that slowly comes to a halt with the end of the movie as we see Maria betray the premise of the film, that trust, admiration and respect are better than love, by having the abortion. She finds Matthew with Peg in bed, though we don't see any emotion from her, the next scene is Maria at the abortion clinic which we can infer that she has felt betrayed by Matthew and therefore she no longer trusts him, she no longer has the trust, admiration, and respect for Matthew. In a way I see this standstill on their path to marriage as a way to save both Maria and Matthew from the heartbreak and disappointment that seems to follow any marriage in the movie. Maybe, just maybe, Hartley wanted to preserve the only good and honest thing in the movie by not playing out the ending to Maria and Matthew's story.

Respect+Admiration+Trust= Love

When you ask people what love is they usually can't describe it. They say something along the lines of, "You have to experience it to know what it feels like," or "It's not something you put into words." In the film Trust, the character of Maria believes that love can be defined, and that there is a simple formula for it--respect, admiration, and trust. In this film, Hal Hartley explores many socially constructed systems, some of which being love and marriage.

None of the characters in the entire movie had happy marriages. Maria's mom was freed when her husband died, Matthew's dad lived alone, the woman at the bus stop was so bored of her marriage that she stole a baby, and Peg is divorced and has kids. Marriage is portrayed as just something that people do, and then they always end up being unhappy because of their choice. Maria asks her sister, if she misses her kids and hates her husband, and Peg answers yes to both questions. Maria then asks if she would get married again, and Peg replies "of course." Like many of the characters in the film, marriage ruined them, but they would still do it again. This is a clear commentary on the downfalls of the societal construction of marriage. If it makes people unhappy, then why do they do it? There is no reason other than it is what society expects people to do.

The one relationship that I have not yet mentioned is that of Maria and Matthew. Though they do not end up getting married, they do get engaged and discuss the concept of love. Matthew accepts Maria's equation for love and asks her to marry him. However, on their path to get married, the viewer sees them prematurely slipping into the consequences that come along with marriage. Most notably, there is a scene where Maria comes home and see Matthew sitting on the couch watching TV. She says to him, " Your job is making you boring and mean," and he replies, "My job is making me a respectable member of society." They are on their way to marriage, jobs, and other systems people have to buy into to be considered "respectable members of society,"and because of this, Matthew is already becoming boring and loosing the characteristics that make him special to Maria. This exchange is an example of the ways that socially constructed systems change people in a negative way and stop them from living happy lives.

From Maria's formulaic view of love to the overwhelming portrayal of characters unhappy with marriage, Hal Hartley's Trust causes the viewer to question the ideas of love and marriage. Could Maria and Matthew ever be happily married? Do they love each other? Could they ever be together without changing each other or letting society change them?

Sincerely, Dangerously, Trustworthy.

In the 1990's film Trust, the characters of Maria Coughlin and Matthew Slaughter develop a perplexing and complex relationship. They both start from the lowest points in their lives. They are two people who don't bear characteristics to be included or excepted by society.

They are outcasts, at different points in their life, that find each other and become of value to one another. Maria and Matthew find comfort and stability from their obscure lives when together. All of this is because they view each other in the same light, which is different from social norms.

This is seen specifically when writer and directer Hal Hartley places Maria and Nurse Paine in the diner together. Because Nurse Paine holds importance to Maria ever since the her going to the clinic, she strikes up a conversation. While talking about how she's not sure she wants to get married, she describes Matthew from a deeper perspective.

Maria: "He's dangerous but sincere."

Nurse Paine: "Sincerely dangerous."

Maria: "No, he's dangerous because he's sincere." 

When Maria says this she displays how she knows he is different from the rest. While others view Matthew as rage filled, bitter and resentful, Maria recognizes him as candid and real. This is exactly what they both needed, someone who will no just overlook the other, and brush them to the side. Maria admits that she is unnerved by him, but only because she has never experienced someone who authentically shows concern and responsiveness towards her. Their bond is heartfelt and trustworthy.

Lather. Rinse. Get Married. Be Unhappy. Repeat.

“‘Do you hate your husband?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Do you think you’ll get remarried?’ ‘Probably.’”

There are certainly allusions to existentialism in “Trust” (directed by Hal Hartley), and this interaction between Peg and Maria is one that struck me. I was mainly intrigued by the seemingly Sisyphean structure of Peg’s life: get married, be unhappy, get married, be unhappy. The same task until she dies; pushing the boulder of holy matrimony up the hill just to watch it roll right back down. Sure, she hasn’t gotten remarried yet, but Hatley presents marriage in a disapproving-enough way for the audience to infer that Peg will, indeed, be unhappy when she does.

Peg’s unhappiness, at first, seems to contrast “The Myth of Sisyphus,” despite the fact that the movie and the essay illustrate the same philosophy. Camus argues that Sisyphus is the happiest man alive, for he has accepted his fate and released the need for higher meaning in his life. Through this detachment, he has taken control over his punishment. Peg, on the other hand, is certainly not the happiest woman alive. She pushes up the boulder, and although it’s fun at first, she loses interest, becomes depressed, and lets it roll back with regretful disdain. Is there any way she could be happy with a task such as this?

To answer this question, we must first look at the task itself: marriage. It seems to be the cornerstone of a healthy society. It produces children and allows men and women to fall into convenient and productive roles. Hartley, however, depicts marriage differently. In his world, marriage changes people for the worst - most obviously portrayed in Matthew’s transformation to “boring and mean” soon after he proposes to Maria. Through Hartley’s lens, the idea that marriage is beautiful and healthy is societally fabricated. It is also, however, necessary if one would like to conform to social norms and live a quiet life. This is Peg’s dilemma: keep pushing the stone to keep the peace, or ditch it altogether, thus possibly declaring war on the ideals that envelope her? From the quote above, it seems as if she will keep pushing. Does this mean she will never achieve contentment?

If Peg lets go of the importance and accepts the inevitably melancholy end of her marriages, will she subsequently detach from the expectations imposed upon her? Or is believing that they will have a melancholy end the very thing that secures the fact that they will? Detachment may be the route that Hartley suggests we take, but perhaps a certain level of devotion to relationships is necessary to optimize the fulfillment we gain from them. Then again, devotion to a relationship is what got Matthew punched in the stomach by his father, Maria taken advantage of by the football player, and the woman at the bus stop time in a psychiatric ward. Perhaps donning Hartley’s lens simply means taking off the one constructed by the misguided ideals of our country.

Awkwardness in Trust

In the 1990 film, Trust, director Hal Hartley introduces a unique take on 'the theater of the absurd'. Although this film was created 40 years after the peak of the theater of the absurd movement, the film is known as a modern adaptation of the movement.

I think that one of the most notable aspects of the film is the intentional awkwardness it portrays. In the interactions between each of the characters, Hartley displays a level of awkwardness and realness that is uncommon in most mainstream films. One moment Maria is sitting on a bench with a stranger, and the next moment she abruptly demands that the stranger give her five dollars. This level of absurdity is key to the film and how it stands out from major Hollywood productions.

I think that this strategy shows the audience their own expectations of movies that society has imposed upon them. The audience expects Maria and Matthew to rejoice and embrace one another when he asks her to marry him, but of course that is not what happens. Maria climbs onto a ledge and does an impromptu trust fall. I think that this unexpected response in one example of how Hartley uses awkwardness to express the theatre of the absurd in the film Trust.

TRUST Me, It's Funny... (and dark)

The 1990's film "Trust" leaves viewers pondering aspects of life that we probably (hopefully at least) never had the pleasure of encountering. Whether it be keeping a live hand grenade on you at all times, murdering your own father, or debating an abortion, "Trust" dwells deep into the depths of loneliness. This film offers an insight on the struggles of some not-so normal lives.

The movie gives off a dark, desolate vibe, which actually makes you feel for the characters. You see Maria and Matthew battle the pain in there lives, and mostly lose. There is an overcast shadowed over them, and all you want as a viewer is to see them succeed. It seems at every turn there is yet another murky result waiting for them, endlessly enwrapping these kindhearted characters into despair.

It's not all so gloomy though, as the dark tone can actually be a bit humorous at times. Throughout all the fog,  a drinking contest between Matthew and Maria's mom, are just small pieces that you cant help but chuckle at.

"Trust" offers a unique outlook on what it's like to be by yourself in this world, but when matched up with someone just as abandoned as you, you are never truly alone.