Lost in The Language of Men

For as long as humans were evolved enough to create constructs of gender that go further than physicality, there's been a general idea of misunderstanding between the sexes, I imagine. Not to say that men and women are by definition not able to understand each other entirely, as I believe it is entirely something in our heads. However, even now, you see a lot of jokes about men not "getting" women and vice-versa. There's an entire published book that people actually pay money for that is all blank pages entitled "Everything Men Know About Women". While that may be sometimes destructive and backwards, the real thing to question is why we are taught to think we completely understand our own gender.

Although we did not get to finish our discussion on The Language of Men in class, it has been in my head for over a week. During that week, I've read a few other short stories, read things in other classes, etc. I've had a lot of examples I could apply the themes of Norman Mailer's story to. However, what I spent more hours doing than anything else was watch tv show called Lost. If you are unfamiliar, it is a show about a plane that crashes on an island. You don't need or want to know much more. After having read The Language of Men I noticed more and more small signs of some unspoken manhood between the plentiful male characters on the show. It was not of companionship and usually not even friendly, but the interactions they had had a lot to do with their gender being male, whether it was a short stare or an entire fight. Similarly to Sanford Carter, the men on the island suffer from a lot of insecurities and a desire for respect. Some women do too, but the show doesn't focus on that aspect of their personalities as much as they do for male characters. It is important to note that the show's creators are all men.

Carter goes through his life in the army feeling inferior. He struggles to connect with the other troops, and as Mailer put it, "he hated the army, the huge army which had proved to him that he was good at no work, and incapable of succeeding at anything. He wrote long, aching letters to his wife, he talked less and less to the men around him, and he was close to violent attacks of anger during the most casual phases of training...he knew if he did not find his niche it was possible he would crack"(Paragraph 5, pg.125). Like the men of Lost, Sanford was becoming unbalanced and feral. While the men of the island were losing themselves because of being on an isolated tropical island and Carter was because of being surrounded by men he didn't relate to, both stories portray what stereotypical masculinity is and how that affects these characters.