What it takes to be a True Lady

Jane Austen's famed satire Pride and Prejudice is known for being littered with humor and complex binaries which were common place in 18th and 19th century England, when the novel was written and takes place. One particularly fascinating dichotomy pointed out by the passage below is the binary between a true lady and an ordinary woman.

"A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word [accomplished]; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved." 

"All this she must possess," added Darcy, "and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading." (39)

The first section of this passage describes the general definition of a true or accomplished woman during the time period. The description demonstrates how the quality of being a true lady has little to do with character and is instead dependent on one's upbringing and familial wealth. The distinction between a true lady and an ordinary woman is just a more specific version of the wealth dichotomy as only a wealthy family could afford the numerous tutor's required for a young girl to master the myriad of skills necessary to become "accomplished". Additionally this binary allows for a differentiation between old and new money, as even in the unlikely case that a woman's family were to get wealthy later in her life or if she were to marry a richer man and master these innumerable qualities, she would still seem like an outsider to a ground of true ladies as she would not possess the specific 'air and manner of walking' required by this elite class of women.

Mr. Darcy makes the classification of "accomplished" even more difficult to acquire by stating that on top of these skills, a true lady must also improve her mind through reading. This final requirement provides numerous challenges to any woman attempting to be a true lady, as reading is a time consuming activity that one must immerse themselves in to completely appreciate. Additionally, if one is trying to improve their mind through reading, the activity becomes even more time consuming and tiring. This penultimate requirement also implies that Victorian men, or at least Mr. Darcy, search for a wife with a captivating mind, an idea which seems to disregard the common notion that upper class men exclusively look for the qualities of beauty, wealth, and ability to look after an estate in a wife. The final layer of complexity in Mr. Darcy's comment is a jab towards Miss Bingley, who is obviously enamored by Mr. Darcy and demonstrates all the qualities of being a true lady, but who has previously demonstrated is incapable of submerging herself in reading. Mr. Darcy's final prerequisite allows Elizabeth to be put above Miss Bingley, where in conventional regards Miss Bingley seems to be a much more favorable wife.