Chodorow's The Reproduction of Mothering identifies the sex-gender system at play in our society. Girls are fostered from a young age to desire the nurturing persona of the mother, whereas men often consider their role in the public space. These gender-specific arenas are critical to the development of the social construct of the gender binary in which men are considered superior to women. Our Western society tends to emphasize this public domain and place a far greater value on public life than domestic life, which therefore places a greater value on those that serve the public. Since women are often confined to the home, fulfilling the "mothering" role that has been instilled in them from generations past, it is easy to understand how men have taken the dominant position over women. These gender-confining roles, I believe, are detrimental to our society because an individual's gender does not necessarily entail a certain skill set. Although women have been raised to identify with the nurturing role within the domestic realm, their roles in public can be just important. The same goes for men; who says that a male's domain must be outside of the home?
When I first read this excerpt from The Reproduction of Mothering, I thought of anecdotes from my own life that represent these ideologies. For the past couple of years, I have spent a great amount of time volunteering at several local hospitals. Since freshman year, it has been clear to me that medicine is my passion and becoming a doctor is, what I feel, I am meant to do. Yet, I have heard the same words from almost every nurse I have worked along side with, "Honestly, if you want to have a family, there is no way you'll be able to manage being a doctor, too". It seemed in ways ridiculous to me at first. I have plenty of friends and classmates whose parents are doctors, and they managed to have several children, so why couldn't I do the same. Yet, I continued to hear the same thing from many women, working in several different wards and in several different hospitals. When I spoke with one of the women doctors on the floor, who happens to be married and have kids herself, she said that although it is hard, it is definitely not impossible. I know that there will be more to manage having children while simultaneously working a demanding job, but what bothers me is that this question is not often posed to males. What profession my brother wants to pursue doesn't seem to be a problem despite his same desire to one day have a family, but because I am a woman, when I say I hope to be a doctor, people mention the sacrifice I will be making not in a way that highlights the very real difficulty of raising kids and working, but in a way that is almost meant to make women feel guilty for considering other options than solely being a stay at home mother.
This also reminds me that most of the people who have said this did not consider the possibility of a husband being the one to work more in the domestic realm, while the woman pursues a career in the public space.
Although I recognize the struggle of having a family and working in a demanding and time-consuming field, I think this reality should be pushed upon both women and men. I think if you plan to have a family, spending time raising your children should be a priority and should be considered when pursuing a job, regardless of your gender.
Concerning the "roles" of men's domain being outside the home and women's being domestic, I think you do a great job of raising the issue that having a family should not necessarily necessitate only raising children, and that everyone should be entitled to pursuing a job, despite the struggles that may come with.
ReplyDeleteYou're absolutely right - women are urged to make career choices with family plans in mind much more than men. It definitely implies that children the concern of the women, who generally make larger career sacrifices to raise a family than men.
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