The Role of a Mother

Chodorow's argument in the Reproduction of Mother's is that the system of mother's caring for the children in itself gives males the power. She also highlights the fact that mother's who had problems with their own mothers become overly attached to their children, daughters specifically. On the contrary, mothers who have involved and substantial lives outside of the home have healthy and beneficial relationships with their children. Chodorow's solution to this self-perpetuating patriarchy is quite simple really: equal parenting. If a child feels equal attachment to each parent, neither gender will be propelled towward the extreme sets, where males feel inadequate and females feel attached too strongly toward their children. While we have been making great bounds in progressive relationships, I feel that truly equal parenting will be difficult for people to practice. From the start of life, the mother nurses the child. A mom has maternity leave for far longer than a dad has paternity leave. That being said, it is crucial that parents try and adopt this concept of equal parenting, because as shown in Beloved, the consequences can be disastrous.

In Beloved, Sethe has mommy issues. Her mother was never around, at least in the nurturing way that Sethe needed. Consequently, Sethe never really knew how to raise children. Sure, she tried as hard as she could within the system, but she took it a bit too far. I  mean, she killed one of them in the name of safety. What I think is even more supportive of Chodorow's theory is Sethe's reaction when Beloved returns. Once Sethe discovers that Beloved is her child, all of her life outside Beloved stops. She quits her job, she never sees anyone outside the house, and she doesn't even eat. She is all consumed with appeasing Beloved and being there for her in the way she felt she had failed her before. In this over-involved relationship, Beloved regresses and becomes child-like and demanding. Neither the mother nor the daughter can escape this cycle of unhappiness, but then again, neither knows they are unhappy. While Sethe had no male counterpart to help her in raising Beloved, their relationship serves as a telling example of the dangers of over-involved mothers. Watch out, tiger moms,