Teens need moms too!

Chodorow's argument was very well developed and she did an incredible job assessing even the common criticisms of her stance on contemporary motherhood. While I agree with several of the points that Chodorow made about the gender roles in today's society, I disagree with some of the details presented somewhat like facts. I do not agree that more modern approaches to mothering have further emphasized these gender roles, or expected behaviors associated with being a mother or father. If anything, I think that the modern family stucture has given more agency to the mother, even though there is of course room for a lot of progress.

In her conclusion, Chodorow also writes that "The development of a sense of autonomous self becomes difficult for children and leads to a mother's loss of sense of self as well." I was fortunate to have grown up with a very caring and close relationship with my mother and I do not believe that this has lessened my sense of self in any way. While parental influence in one's identity is something to consider, children that grow up without mothers do not necessarily have a stronger sense of self. Chodorow argues that the closer the relationship a child has with their mother, the more the child's needs become an "unconscious labeling of what a child ought to need," therefore diminishing both the child and the mother's sense of personal identity. However, I think that the closer a child is to their mother and the better relationship, the more accurate the mother's perception of her child's needs. Especially in teen years, for both boys and girls, a more distant relationship with the mother can lead to more problems with one's identity. Without the comfort, safety, and openness with a close relationship, many teens are likely to feel that they don't belong in their own homes or families and are more likely to isolate themselves or express their frustration outwardly because of it. Many teens who have a struggling relationship with their parents may feel that they don't have someone to turn to and can end up making not the best decisions. Chodorow throughly explains the effects of a child being overly attached to it's mother, but I think that her points are more valid in young childhood and do not necessarily apply as the relationship grows out of young childhood.